So, whenever I am at family gatherings, or even among friends I haven't seen in a while, the same question seems to intrude on a great conversation..."so, are you seeing anyone?"
Lately my answer has been a big fat NO!
Now, that does not bother me, I mean I have been single for about six years now, going on seven, and it really does not bother me...until that question comes out.
It is almost like if I say no, there is a wonderment that dances across the questioners face...as if to say "what is wrong with you? why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Then, there are the oh so dreadful chick flicks...you know... the ones where boy meets girl, boy falls head over heels for girl, boy and girl inevitably live happily ever after.
Don't get me wrong...I don't want to be single forever. I love meeting and getting to know different and interesting folks.
So, what the heck is the deal.
For a while, I would ask God this very question on a somewhat regular basis. So much to the point that I think he allowed the most annoying fools to cross my path just so I would leave Him alone about it! Yeah, don't front like you haven't met those types of guys...or girls...or were that guy or girl before (hey, I'm just saying).
Since I have been living in Virginia, I have had a lot of time to myself. Sometime too much. In my recent refection time, God finally answered my dying need to know where my Mr. Right was...like right now.
Then, the Lord said to me that this time of silence is time to grow closer to Him. In Jeremiah chapter 1, verse 5, God says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you..."
Immediately, I gained revelation on two things from this scripture...one, that because God created me, no one can know me better than Him. And two, because He created me and knows everything about me, He knows the destiny He has mapped out for me.
As I stated in my first post (if you haven't read it, please do), when I was in college, I wasn't following Christ like I should have been. That was the opportune time for me to allow God to help me discover who I am in Him and prepare myself for any type of fruitful friendships/relationship. When I finally came to my senses and let God be the head of my life, He plainly said to me "if you are going to do this, then lets do it the right way."
Therefore, I have submitted to God and allowed him to rid me of every flaw and deformation that would hinder my completeness in Him...any attitudes that would not reflect His love, patience, kindness and forgiveness.
When I tried to explain all of this recently to a co-worker, I simply said...I don't want someone being a pain in my butt, so I'm trying to avoid being a pain in anyone else's!
Makes sense, right? YES!
I mean, think about it, the Bible tells us to treat others the way we would want to be treated. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful, unforgiving, bitter and stressed all the time. So, God is graciously giving me the opportunity to uncover and discard any of that that might linger in my heart. (Allow God to do the same for you, whether you're in a committed relationship right now or not.)
I will admit...I do get lonely and it can be frustrating seeing so many other people finding their perfect mate...but it's all in due season.
So, I am gladly waiting on Gods timing and letting him prepare me and my future man for our time together. I even pray "Lord, thank you for raising up the one you have chosen for me. Keep him in your care and in your word until...and after...we finally meet."
And I know that with all the love and compassion that God is filling me with now will only make my meeting Mr. Right more amazing than I can imagine...even if its not right now.
Soon, though. I am getting closer every day!
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