Are we ever ready for it? I mean, really, no matter how much we prepare ourselves financially or emotionally for life's struggles, disappointments and emergencies there's always that pain that strikes as though someone just kicked you in the gut!
I returned from a 4-week stay in Germany in late September, and the struggle to just live life seems to intensify. I had finally started a new job in early November and moved into a wonderful apartment just a month later. Lately, with depression and anxiety and medication side effects that accompany, working full time has been a real struggle. My body fatigues super quick and my brain shuts down completely in high-stress environments. So, while I enjoyed the job, I missed one day too many to rest and recover, and they had to let me go. That was the week after New Year's Day.
Last month I learned that I'm not elegible for federal financial aid because my GPA is below the allowance (mainly from courses I failed or dropped because of my illness the last three semesters). Just when I throught God was bringing everything together in a tight little bundle, the bottom falls out!
So what now, you ask?
I wait for God's direction. There's nothing else I can do. I can't say "I trust God" yet try to fix the situation myself. This is where God has me in MY life right now, trusting HIM fully to provide. It doesn't feel great at all, and I know some people reading this will quickly flip to another screen and not give this another thought. That hurts even more.
But one thing I know for certain, God will never leave me nor forsake me. It's just the waiting part that's the struggle!
I returned from a 4-week stay in Germany in late September, and the struggle to just live life seems to intensify. I had finally started a new job in early November and moved into a wonderful apartment just a month later. Lately, with depression and anxiety and medication side effects that accompany, working full time has been a real struggle. My body fatigues super quick and my brain shuts down completely in high-stress environments. So, while I enjoyed the job, I missed one day too many to rest and recover, and they had to let me go. That was the week after New Year's Day.
Last month I learned that I'm not elegible for federal financial aid because my GPA is below the allowance (mainly from courses I failed or dropped because of my illness the last three semesters). Just when I throught God was bringing everything together in a tight little bundle, the bottom falls out!
So what now, you ask?
I wait for God's direction. There's nothing else I can do. I can't say "I trust God" yet try to fix the situation myself. This is where God has me in MY life right now, trusting HIM fully to provide. It doesn't feel great at all, and I know some people reading this will quickly flip to another screen and not give this another thought. That hurts even more.
But one thing I know for certain, God will never leave me nor forsake me. It's just the waiting part that's the struggle!
No comments:
Post a Comment